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Archive for March, 2007

OH, SUSANNAH!

Jeff’s obsession with Susanna began on their first day in the First Grade. He was skinny and gangly. She reminded him of the elfin princesses who flitted across the pages of picture books; she was delicate, graceful. By high school, Susanna was the poster child for dewy, ethereal beauty. Now all the boys worshiped her. Sometimes in the hallways, when Jeff said, “Hello, Susanna,” she responded with a casualness Jeff interpreted as, “Oh, it’s only Jeff.” He was resigned to being just another face in Susanna’s gallery of admirers and so he dated girls who were pretty but not gorgeous, girls who giggled and ran across fields, who dove into the lake and raced him to the raft, who ping-ponged ideas with him, exuding a charm that fostered friendship and occasionally lingering goodnight kisses. But, he yearned for Susanna.

At the Senior Prom, when the chaperones decided the dancing had become too dangerously romantic, they insisted everyone change partners, “Now!” Fate had positioned Jeff and his date next to Susanna and her date. Suddenly Jeff’s arms were around a creature with gossamer wings who floated across the dance floor, who swayed with him, who seemed to become one with him and the music. The chaperones signaled the orchestra to stop. “Change partners!” the chaperones shouted. Jeff never slowed down. He whirled Susanna around the room. She tilted back her head and looked at the person to whom she had yielded control. “Why,” she marveled, “it’s Jeff from the First Grade!” The orchestra resumed playing. The chaperones shrugged. Jeff danced as if he had channeled Fred Astaire. When the music ended, Susanna said, “Hi, Jeff.” They kissed. The chaperones were apoplectic. Jeff returned Susanna to her partner, bowed, and said, “Thank you, Susanna..” Then he turned, found his date, swept her into his arms, and created the evening’s second belle of the ball.

Jeff heard that Susanna was engaged two or three times while in college and after graduating, she landed an entry level job in retail merchandising. Jeff went directly into graduate school, earned an MBA, and was hired by a major airline. He was dating Amy and had fallen in like with her but the ghost of Susanna, the possibility of her, blocked him from falling in love.

Seven years after the Senior Prom, he swung into a gas station and pulled into the self-serve line behind a blue convertible where a knockout in a pale blue sweater and white slacks stood pumping her own gas. Jeff said, “Susanna, hello.”

Within seconds she exclaimed, “Jeff! My favorite dancing partner!”

His innards lurched.

They spent the next two hours in a deli where they ordered cheesecake and coffee. “Ummm,” Susannah said, “This cheesecake is delicious,” and she took her second bite. They talked about their jobs (Susannah was a buyer; Jeff was a division comptroller), their interests (Susanna’s was fashion; Jeff’s ran the gamut from A (art) to Y (yoga). “This is the best cheesecake I ever tasted,” Susanna said, after eating less than half during the previous hour, one small nibble at a time. Into the second hour and third coffee refill, Jeff’s interest in Susanna was replaced by his fascination with how long she took to finish eating one piece of cheesecake. He marveled that anyone deliberately created ultra-small pieces and then ate a mere morsel so slowly and talked about only one subject – clothes. Back at their cars, Susannah and Jeff exchanged cards. “I’d love to hear from you,” she cooed.

“All these years,” Jeff thought, “I was smitten by Susannah’s beauty because what else was there? Not much!” He stifled a laugh. “I’m glad I saw you, Susannah.” He looked at his watch. “I’ve got to run,” he said, and so avoided lying that he’d call her soon because now there was only one girl he wanted to call. He sped away and touched speed dial on his cell phone.

“Hello? Amy?”

– Scarlet O’Cheesecake

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Who Were Your Daddies?

Any meal at Gram’s table was one to savor – the food as well as the family stories. The re-telling of the old favorites became more fun as soon as the dessert was served. And although no one had ever bothered to chart which desserts seemed to ignite livelier interest, the cheesecakes made by Gram’s widowed daughters were the only desserts that prompted spontaneous applause.On a summery day when only family was at the mid-day table, Sarah waited while cheesecake was served and for the applause to stop before she asked questions about relatives no longer living. Gram and the aunties were the acknowledged authorities when it came to family information. Seldom did they need to verify their memories by consulting the important dates noted in the family Bible. Remembering came natural to them because they linked memories with something else – a person, an event, a location.”Oh,”an aunt said, “that happened when we lived on Maple Street on the day that the cat had kittens in the bathtub.”

“And she wasn’t our cat!” the other aunt chimed in. “She belonged to the that nasty neat neighbor who didn’t want kittens messing up her house so she got her little boy to sneak their pregnant cat into our back shed.”

Gram’s bachelor son Uncle Ned said, “Those were six of the prettiest kittens I ever saw. Double paws.”

The applause faded and then stopped the moment the diners picked up their dessert forks. Sarah took a bite of cheesecake and would have swooned with pleasure if she hadn’t arrived with an agenda. Her daughter’s new in-laws, the Brandons, had an annoying habit of name-dropping, primarily their illustrious, albeit deceased relatives. “Gram,” she began, “Wasn’t Horace Farnsworth a relative of ours?”

Without missing a beat, Gram verified that indeed Horace Farnsworth was a relative, a second cousin. “Whatever made you think of him?”

“My daughter has married into a family that is always bragging about their relatives. They were educators and politicians and famous trial attorneys. I’m looking for relatives whose accomplishments I can drop into conversations. So, about Horace Farnsworth. Didn’t he become governor?”

Gram laughed. “He sure did! And later he was arrested for rum-running and sent to jail.”

The aunts chimed in. “His wife left him. Two of his children moved out of state. One son was so embarrassed that he had his name changed. But the youngest boy who hero-worshiped his father became a bank president and ended up embezzling thousands.”

Uncle Ned said, “That was first-rate rum.”

Sarah asked, “Wasn’t there a Grace somebody, a writer? Didn’t she write a novel that became a bestseller?”

“Oh yes, Grace. Another cousin,”Gram said. “I remember reading reviews of her books in the Sunday papers.”

An aunt said, “She gave lectures all over the country. She was intelligent, witty, broad-minded.”

“But she wasn’t that smart when she chose a lover,” Gram said. “They visited us once. He could charm the birds out of the trees. Remember the savings and loan scandal? Grace bailed him out and then kicked him out. Then she wrote a tell-all book and went from being famous to infamous. She fled to Paraguay.”

“Her picture was on the cover of one of the weekly magazines, I don’t remember which one, maybe Life,” one aunt said.

“It was Look,” the other aunt said.

Sarah laughed. “Well, so much for impressing the Brandons!”

Uncle Ned said he would enjoy another slice of cheesecake. “Just a sliver,” he added, and then he turned to Sarah. “Keep this in mind. If you trace our family tree back far enough, you’ll find our ancestors either hanging by their necks or by their tails. And that goes for the Brandons too.”

– Scarlet O’Cheesecake

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